I made the mistake once of opening a sandwich at a fast food restaurant. That is, I took off the top bun and actually looked at each component. Taking the bun apart opened my eyes as to the QC practices of the fast food industry. As in, they have no QC practices. They’ll stick anything resembling food inside the bun and serve it.
When I make a sandwich at home I am rather meticulous. I remove the outer brown and wilted layer of leaves from the lettuce and get to the hearts of palm for the crisper, fresher lettuce that is to be in my own home made sandwich.
I cut out the first part of the tomato, and never eat the stem portion. I cut a generous slice of the fat section of the tomato, and place it on top of the crisp hearts of palm lettuce on the bun.
As for the bun itself I try to buy the fresher made product from the grocery store, the buns in the baking section. Not the factory made product, even from the better manufacturers. Pepperidge Farm is nice but a fresh made brioche a bit better.
I trim the chicken, and usually make the bread crumbs from mashing up Ritz crackers. I make a rather nice chicken sandwich at home, even if it takes time and effort.
What I found under that fast food top bun was all the parts I usually trim. I pretty much stopped eating at all fast food establishments after that, unless they were the only option.
I would probably be shocked if I saw food preparation at the local taco restaurant I frequent, it is best I don’t know or don’t see. I enjoy the finished product, with a taco there is nothing hidden, the ingredients are more readily evident.
And it is probably better I’ve never been in the kitchen at the local restaurant where I purchase Chinese food. It’s all tasty, that is about all I have to know. I’m not sure there is a word for “trim” in Mandarin, although I’ve never found chicken foot in my Kung Pao Chicken. Then again I’ve never seen tiny, tiny corn-on-the-cobs in nature. Ever. Best I just enjoy the egg rolls, the shrimp toast, and don’t ask questions.
I have an old friend who told me that when his mother prepared him eggs he made her take out “the little squiggly part”, I would guess is the umbilical chord part of the raw egg. So when she prepared his eggs she fished that “little squiggly” out and it didn’t end up on his plate for consumption. He told me that thirty plus years ago and I still laugh about it. I have found that people can be very particular about how they like their eggs prepared.
My mother always said “you eat a pound of dirt before you die”. But then again she refused to eat hot dogs or Chinese food, so perhaps she wasn’t telling the truth. We had no “five second rule” in our house. If it fell on the floor then wipe it with a paper towel and serve it, money is tight, food costs money. And eat it all or I’ll tie you to the leg of the table.
I’m not a finicky eater, I wouldn’t want to give that impression, I grew up eating tripe, pigs feet, raw oysters, liver and onions, coddies, all kinds of meals they no longer serve or just aren’t popular.
I guess raw oysters are experiencing a rage right now but some question how you can down them the way they look. They told me tripe was the lining of a cows stomach, that didn’t stop me from chowing down on it. I haven’t had tripe in almost sixty years, I know I’ve never seen it on any menu.
I grew up eating soft crab sandwiches. To people from outside of Maryland who saw me eat one once they asked how I could eat those “water spiders”, they were appalled. We Marylanders consider them a delicacy, one of the finest foods you could ever eat.
At home I trim the fat a bit off the steak or beef, and I know that “fat is flavor”, but too much fat is unappealing. I probably throw produce away even when it is usable, but fresh is always my first consideration.
Dad told me stories of eating lard sandwiches during the depression, and being happy just to have something to eat. I suppose it is a luxury to trim fat, throw away the outer layer of the head of lettuce, or to cut off perfectly fine pieces of tomato and just discard them. But we live in times of plenty, and not times of scarce, so we have options. I get sick just thinking about eating a lard sandwich, but then again I didn’t have to live through the depression.
People can be very, very odd about food. The masseuse I go to regularly for a bad back is a vegan. I tried to tell her about incisors, and how they were designed for cutting through flesh and meat and not leaves but she’d listen to none of it. I tried to tell her about a Japanese study showing plants communicate, and possibly have feelings. She wasn’t keen on hearing that either. Vegans are a whole other breed of human. I watch Guy Fieri and his show when he is at a vegan restaurant, and every preparation they are trying to make tofu, or mushrooms, or some plant taste like chicken. The entire time I sit there saying, why not just eat chicken then? Trying to eat tofu that tastes like chicken is ridiculous to me, either commit to the tofu experience or eat the chicken. But trying to eat tofu that tastes like chicken is cheating.
If plants have feelings then doesn’t that just destroy the entire vegan argument? These vegan people are all nature lovers and “earth dogs”, have they watched those shows from National Geographic? The ones where the bobcats group together and chase down some poor gazelle? And just rip their flesh open in a live kill? Nature is no vegan I can tell you that. Out there in the jungle no one cares how a chicken feels when it’s head is lopped off. If tofu suffers when it dies, what then?
Some forty years ago while working for the brewery and being on the road with other employees we’d go out to eat together in the evening. One odd duck used to quiz the waitress something awful. The beef is it fresh, where is it from, was it ever frozen? He had a million questions. About every dish. Was the fish fresh, was it line caught, where did they get their fish from, was it ever frozen, did it have a fishy taste. The man was just incredible to dine with. He would drive everyone at the table nuts with his food questions. Talk about finicky, he was food insane. We used to dread having him with us when we dined, he would give such detailed instructions on his particular food preparation to the waitress we all feared they’d spit in everyone’s food back in the kitchen just to teach him a lesson.
I caused problems with the boss back then. We’d go to a Chinese restaurant all together and he would say “hey, let’s all order something different, we can put it in the middle to share, that way we get to try a lot of different dishes”. Then I’d say, “uh, excuse me, but I don’t like what you are ordering, or what he is ordering. I’m going to order the meal I want, and I’m going to eat it. If you want what I am having, you order it too, or order two dishes, because I am not participating in your lazy Susan dinner”.
I thought I was going to get fired for that one. The boss fixed me with a look I can still remember. I ruined his little food tasting menu. Listen up, I’ll order what I want to eat, you order what you want, even if you order two meals. I don’t mind splitting the bill evenly. Just don’t expect to put a fork into my plate.
Then there was the time friends and I went to Atlantic City and had a three AM meal. We only lived two-and-a-half hours from AC and used to go all the time to gamble. We’d leave around six at night, go up and stay up all night, come back home in the morning. Sometimes we’d stay over, if we were all being comped. Back in the day if you gambled enough they’d give you free food, free rooms.
One night we were all gambling, having a blast, when one friend came by to say he had gotten a free meal comp for everyone, all four of us. A free meal, cocktails included. so even though it was three AM off we went. One guy started bitching as soon as we sat down. “Who eats at three AM”? “I can’t eat this late, it will give me indigestion”. We told him to shut up and just have a Coke.
So my buddy Al, the one who got the comp ticket, he orders two crab cake platters. Just for himself. Four crab cakes plus fries at three AM. They run out of room on the table for plates he grabs the second plate and just dumps it onto the first one, now a huge pile of crab cakes, fries, and slaw on a single plate. And at that unGodly hour proceeded to eat it all. Much to the chagrin of “Mr. Coca-Cola” who went light on his meal. Watching Al just house four jumbo lump crab cakes at that hour washing them down with a few beers still makes me laugh thirty years later. The one thing people like better than food is free food. Especially if it is high quality free food. Casino restaurants serve some good food as long as you stay away from the buffets.
When I worked for a bottling company as a salesman we were told to take the truck drivers in our region to lunch, thank them for all the hard work they did for us. So I invited the guy on my route to lunch, met him at his favorite sub shop in the area. I stood back as he scanned the menu and ordered.
He proceeded to order a cheesesteak sub, and sixteen inch pizza with sausage and anchovies. I told him I didn’t like anchovies and he gave me a look and said “this is all for me”. Holy Hell. I thought he was ordering for us.
I got myself a half-sub and then had to sit and watch this man eat not just a whole cheesesteak sub but he just housed an entire sixteen inch pizza right in front of me. The kind of pizza that I’d order for my family of six he ate by himself. Plus an entire cheesesteak. Later I talked to a friend that knew him, I asked if he had just ordered so much food because it was all free, since I was paying for it. No my buddy replied, he eats that way every meal. Good god, I’d weigh four hundred pounds, the man was an animal. How many people out there can eat an entire sixteen inch pizza by themselves?
That was the only time in my life I lost my own appetite watching someone eat.
People have an odd relationship with food. I guess if we broke bread together you might have something to say about how I butter my bread, or how I eat my peas.
I know that I would absolutely have an opinion on how you eat. I’ve seen things.
I laughed heartily at your food foibles. Food is a very subjective and personal matter, and Ive found that some people can be very stubborn, fickle, and touchy about it. Its also very regional as Michael said, and many outside the Delmarva area will never experience the pure joy of a steamed Chesapeake Bay Blue Crab because they simply cant get by the perception of eating something that resembles a huge arachnid.
By the way... I AM THAT GUY who as a youth had his Mother remove the white "squiggly" from his eggs. Reason... I went to the same Catholic school Michael did, and my biology teacher (who was a Christian Brother) taught me that the white squiggly was actually rooster SEMEN. That made up my mind I was not going to be a "chicken choker", and needed to remove the vile load! Since then I have learned he was wrong and I no longer remove said "squiggly".
Anyway, as a Marylander, I also eat soft crabs and LOVE them. I do eat some fast food, but not a lot. I once found a large, flat section of bone in a steak soft taco from Taco Bell. I used to love Chinese, but dont eat much of it anymore as the high amount of grease doesnt sit well. I prefer Thai now, as they use less fried and more fresh ingredients.
Having worked in the chemical industry and sold warewashing and drying agents for years, I visited the kitchens of a myriad of restaurants...from the finest 5 star dining establishments, to the smallest mom and pop. Restaurants are FILTHY... ALL of them. Its an inevitable part of the business. Wipe, clean, sanitize, and disinfect as you may, food decays, decomposes, breaks down, and becomes waste... and it happens very quickly. The average colon and intestinal tract is loaded with trillions of helpful bacteria that not only help us digest, but also ward off contamination and illness from "bad" bacteria and germs. Most people dont realize that a simple slice of pizza left at room temperature for 30+ minutes is infested with millions of cheese mites...or that a spoonful of mayonnaise out of refrigeration for 20+ minutes has enough microbes on it to kill a small mouse. Our stomachs/guts generally clean it all up for us. EVERY restaurant has roaches and fruit flies.. if they say they dont theyre lying. Most have more than occasional rodent issues as well. Where there's grease and food there is hungry pests...its the nature of the business and the beast. Once, very early in my sales career, in a particularly gnarly Chinese restaurant account of mine, I removed the plastic lid from their rinse agent dispenser to service the pump...and the second the lid lifted, literally hundreds of roaches ran out, up my arm, and into my jacket... I sprinted out the back door, tore off my clothes, and refused to return.
Michael may recall a dinner out before a dance or prom when we were in high school. There were 4-5 couples and we were seated at a large round table at an Italian restaurant in Parkville Maryland, near where we grew up. 30 minutes or so into the proceedings the food started being served, and one of our fellow diners (Donna) got a large plate of spaghetti... Just as she began digging in, a huge roach dropped from the ceiling and landed square in the middle of her pasta... End of dinner for all but the most diehard of us!
We grew up same time and economy class. This was like reliving my life of food.