I’m old, mid-sixties, been around. I was probably sixty before I heard anything about Quinoa. I was probably sixty-two before ever hearing the term Acai Bowls. And Gluten-free came out of nowhere a few years back and has invaded every aisle of the super market, and every menu. And somehow a soda has morphed from America’s leading drink to poison, just in my own lifetime. Back when I was in my twenties people would go into a seven-eleven and come out with a bucket of soda, sixty-four ounces, for themselves. Not a family of four, one person. Today they’d shame that person out of the store.
I look back and wonder how we kids of the nineteen-sixties survived. I must have missed all the funerals for those killed for eating gluten. I must have missed all those kids kept home from school suffering Coca-Cola poisoning.
Remember fine restaurants in the nineteen-seventies, the old red-walled, black vinyl booth joints where you could order a Prime Rib and the thing would look like something a dinosaur would be served on a plate, both ends hanging off the plate?
Today, if you can even find that on a menu, you order that and everyone stares as if you’ve committed a crime. You can see their minds saying “that beef will still be in your gullet undigested when you die”. Well then so be it. A hunk of Prime Rib is one of the joys of life. I say bring back obscene hunks of Prime Rib to menus nationwide.
Today, my own kids dole out a Hershey’s kiss to their own children as if it is a three pound bar, making their children, my own grandchildren, savor one tiny Hershey’s kiss as if some delicious and expensive treat. I watch from the grandparent sidelines in disgust. You know we can’t intervene. At least not when the parents are there.
Last weekend we hosted one of them, I bought sprinkle cookies, sprinkle cupcakes. I didn’t let them have the whole box. But please. How can a cupcake be so awful?
People have lost their damn minds. Where did all this come from? I don’t recall a single human being felled by gluten in the 1960’s. Taken down, bedridden. Because of a slice of rye. I don’t care what you say, Kale tastes like crap.
We are one weird society. Over here they are eating gluten-free, eating quinoa, salads full time. Over there they are going to Ihop for breakfast and getting dessert for breakfast. sugary toppings, whipped cream, chocolate. And the same people that are gluten-free line up every morning at Starbucks and order a drink full of caramel, chocolate and whipped cream. Might as well order an ice cream sundae every morning.
Gluten free. Might as well eat the cardboard box the thing came in.
You people are insane.
*
As I said, I’m old. But I am extremely observant. Just once….
Just once I’d like to pull up at a red-light and see a woman driving a pest control truck.
Just once I’d like to meet a Black person that doesn’t tell me they are the greatest singer ever and would get a recording contract if they could just get some exposure.
Just once I’d like to pull up to a red-light and see an Asian women driving an American made car. An American brand car.
Just once before I die I’d like to be sitting at a bar, see a woman come into the bar, sit at the bar and say “I want to buy a round for the bar”.
Just once I’d like to drive up the one lane island road leaving home and not get behind an eighty year old doing twenty-eight in a thirty five zone, and being forced to drive the entire length of the island watching cars back up behind me, and them.
Just once I’d like for my dogs to get the urge to purge on the one lawn in the neighborhood that has those “no dogs” signs with the cross-out over the dog pooping. I have no control over where my dog gets the urge to evacuate, if it happens to be your lawn so be it, I’ve got a pocket full of bags and have to clean it all up. What makes you and your lawn special?
*
My Ravens, hey I was a charter season ticket holder, I used to have Colts tickets before they left town, bought my own season tickets in high school, my Ravens are in the Championship game this Sunday against KC.
I’m foaming at the mouth and half-insane and it’s only mid-week. My mind is squirming inside my cranium. I want them to beat Mahomes and Company so bad you have no idea. They’ve had their run, it is our turn.
I’d urge everyone to give me a wide berth from now until Sunday evening, maybe even Monday. There is no dealing with me.
Last weekend I had to change my shirt because they had a bad first half. I just knew when I put that particular shirt on that it was going to be bad news. I never wear that Henley. I had bad vibes in the morning when I put it on.
And at half the wife put the dog into a Ravens costume, I kept quiet, but was fully ready to blame any loss on dressing that cur up in a Ravens shirt. I don’t wear Ravens gear ever, I don’t even know how the dog has Ravens wear. Go figure. Good thing they won the game, I would have blamed the wife all off season for that move. No pet outfits this weekend. This is real. I’ll be sure to wear the right shirt from the beginning of the game on. Make sure everything in the house is in its correct place. I simply cannot be held responsible for any bad mojo where my Ravens are concerned. And I promise the Ravens, I will keep the wife from Wookie-ing the Ravens with her antics. Between the game, and her comments on both the game and my behavior, oh man. I damn near have to be sedated.
*
Hey mainstream media, get one thing through your thick, stupid, addled heads. We are all in on Trump. We despise Democrat Trojan horse Nikki Haley who is bought and paid for by the military-industrial complex. And DeSantis just ran before his time.
But make one thing clear. We don’t need Nikki voters, we don’t need anyone, either we have momentum and anger on our side, and MAGA will be victorious, or you people will vote in another Democrat to flush this toilet down the crapper even further.
We don’t want to change positions to appeal to Nikki voters. We don’t want to appeal to DeSantis voters.
Either they get on the Trump train or we crash and burn trying to save this nation.
We won’t change to appeal to anyone. Not Nikki, not DeSantis, and especially not you Democrat boot licking mainstream media types.
Go pound sand and stop telling us how we need to win. Either get on board, or get out of the way. We are trying to save our nation from the deep state, and idiots who think there are more than two genders. And who would ever, ever, ever allow someone under 18 to get a sex change. You are all sick, twisted, demented. We won’t change anything to appeal to you.
We will win, or lose, on principles.
We know you have no principles. We see how F’ed your lives are.
Go sell crazy somewhere else
*
Had a minor argument with a British woman last week who turned her nose up at Hershey’s products and said that Cadbury was the gold standard. I tried to tell her the Swiss were known as the world’s chocolatiers but she was having none of it.
From tea, to chocolate, to biscuits the Brits think they have a monopoly on quality.
I don’t care how down-market it is to like Hershey’s, I love their products and that is that. Instead of arguing with me she should have been thanking me for sending my dear old Dad over there back in the nineteen forties to save them from a life of speaking German.
Cadbury. Give me a break. The Brits may know tea, but chocolate is a perfection of the Swiss. And Hershey didn’t do so badly either.
*
If you saw Travis Kielce do his little “heart fingers” at his new squeeze in the stands last weekend and aren't rooting for him to be beaten like a rented mule on the football field this weekend you are no football fan.
It’s bad enough he took the big cash to promote the added Covid shots that are worthless, selling out to big Pharma and cashing in on lies. I knew then he was a simp. But the “heart fingers” gesture was nauseating. I hope the Ravens dole out a few forearm shivers and other presents to him this weekend. Rattle a few molars loose.
Hey, it’s football. It ain’t hopscotch.
*
Speaking of Brits why does anyone care what Piers Morgan has to say about our politics, our country, or any other subject.
Send that FOP back to the United Kingdom. We don’t want him, we don’t need him, and no one in America cares what he has to say. Tell him to sashay back to London with his thoughts and ideas.
He is the British Frasier Crane.
*
Ya think there will ever be any review of where the billions sent to “Ukraine” went? How much ended up engorging our own defense contractors, and then flowed onto Democratic campaigns and dark money groups? How much the oligarchy in Ukraine took as they shipped their men off to die in a worthless conflict?
When Russia takes the Donbas, and the war is over, and Ukraine tries to get back to normal absent seventy percent of the men between sixteen and fifty, one wonders what life will be like there.
Of course we will never know where the actual cash went. Right up until you are on the Rehoboth Beach and meet a nice Ukrainian official who nows owns beachfront real estate here. Or go to Miami and learn that half the condos in one building are now held by kleptocrats from Ukraine. Then you will go, hmmmm.
*
Van Jones is quoted this week with saying that he feels “his” candidate Joe Biden should hide from the media and run his campaign for 2024 hiding the same way he did his 2020 campaign.
When you have to hide your candidate from the public, isn’t that instructive as to how bad a candidate you actually have? What kind of man is Van Jones that he would champion this strategy, which acknowledges that his candidate is a brain addled idiot.
How does Van Jones get onto television to spout his stupid blathering crap? The man is a complete idiot himself.
*
How stupid is the Republican leadership? Trying to bribe Kari Lake to keep her from running for Senator. And that woman running the RNC, holy crap is she an idiot. The worst leader imaginable. No heart, no spine, no abilities.
It is no wonder the Republicans get beaten something awful. They get in their own way.
I always say, how hard does the opposition have to work to beat you when you are working full time to beat yourself? Not very hard actually.
That is how you lose to a dementia patient. And to someone as publicly loathsome as Nancy Pelosi. If she doesn’t look like an ad for “let them eat cake” then no one does.
*
Where did that 90 million go that everyone gave to Black Lives Matter?
Has there been any accounting for that money?
Or are we all just supposed to look the other way as management looted and stole all the cash?
Hello? Hello? Where did the money go?
No one cares apparently, because every donors heart was in the right place.
No wonder our country is going down the crapper.
*
This “finding your roots” show on PBS is excellent. And the host does a fantastic job. The format is compelling. There should be no need for public funding of such an excellent program, that show would produce ample ratings on a network.
I wish the host would do a show on himself. He is so intelligent, and interesting, I’d like to see where he came from. I try to watch old episodes but can’t figure out how to go into the archive and watch them. Something about the way public TV does it prevents me from watching old episodes. The only way I ever get to see the program is channel surfing at night and stumbling onto them. A big thumbs up from here, a damn good show.
*
Stared in on some new thing on Netflix, only two episodes deep, about how they created Uber. I clicked because I knew my wife likes that guy from “Bloodline” and “Friday Night Lights” so I clicked. Love the program so far, and would highly recommend it. Might disappoint me as it goes, but so far, so good.
*
I said on twitter last week that Trump should pick Shaq for his VP. I wasn’t kidding. Shaq has always wanted to be in law enforcement, has a serious moral compass, and is beloved by all. He is charming, had a successful pro career, and there are numerous videos of him online being more generous with strangers than you can imagine. Wandering over with a credit card to pay for engagement rings for couples you can see are struggling with the price tags. Just being a good soul.
Shaq would make an excellent VP. Now I’m not sure he is Presidential timber. But my bet would be that Trump serves out the term.
I’ll take Shaq as VP. I’d take Sir Charles as VP.
If Trump were to pick a Black running mate who leans conservative or moderate, who is an excellent role model, and has morals, and courage, he’d win in a landslide.
Are you kidding me? Shaq? It would be all over the day of the announcement.
So I promote it here too, Trump-Shaq 2024. After all, look at our current VP, are you kidding me? She is the very definition of incompetent. If she can be VP, for Shaq it’d be a breeze.
A Trump / Shaq ticket would win 49 states. Landslide. Go to Youtube, watch videos of Shaq silently paying for other people’s big purchases. The man has heart. The man has character. We just lived through four years of a moron, don’t laugh this idea off too easily.
Trump / Shaq 2024. Oh man. They’d go past 100 million votes. Easy.
That pick would make the pundits head spin as if they were auditioning for the next “Exorcist” movie. What could they say? Trump would own them with that pick.
Trump should enlist my services. In my own stupid way I am genius.
*
Real life serious grown adult humans in the US are arguing about how the “Barbie” movie should have had more nominations for the Oscars. A movie about a kid’s toy, being promoted for a phony award show where Hollywood spends a night fellating themselves. Where they act as if “play-acting” as someone else is a difficult achievement. Every two year old in American plays dress up and pretends to be a fireman, nurse, or teacher. Should they get little golden statuettes?
We have dumbed down Americans to the extent a 42 year old acts as if they are 12.
I’m telling you we cannot survive as a nation like this.
Do you watch The History Channel? Have you seen how the Japanese dug in on those islands and fought to the last man? How desperate they were?
If WWII happened today and the Japanese soldiers came on shore into Los Angeles they could take the entire town by ten PM. A dozen of them. A dozen WWII Japanese soldiers could take out all of Santa Monica, all of Venice, the beach towns, they’d run all the way to Compton like a hot knife through butter. Now once they got to Compton all bets are off. They might not win but they’d take a few bloods n crips with them. If they turned North into the Hollywood Hills instead of going through downtown LA, they’d be swimming in the backyard pools by eleven PM.
As long as they avoided the Armenians in Glendale, and the Compton area, they’d own LA in a single night.
Hey look, Japanese, tell them we like Sushi! Bang. Tokyo of the East.
*
Joe Namath is everywhere on my Youtube feed. They are curating all things Namath to show me. Don’t they understand he broke my heart in 1969 and I will never, ever forgive him? I cried like a baby eating dinner that night. He broke me. Of course I was only twelve, but he broke me when he beat my Colts. I don’t want to see Joe Namath on Youtube. I don’t want to run into him in Jupiter. Hell, I boycott the two restaurants he is partnered into up there. Youtube doesn’t understand me.
Then again, no one does.
*
I read something yesterday that has me stunned. A television and movie director left home for 3 weeks only to come home and find squatters living in their home. Apparently NY law says that you cannot evict squatters and once they have occupied a dwelling past 30 days they have rights to stay in the home. The director complained that he couldn’t turn off the water, had to pay the water bills, and utility bills of the squatter, and simply cannot remove them from his home.
Sorry, but this is peak insanity.
The home you own, no matter how many you own, is your castle. If you have to enter and remove squatters at gun point then you should be allowed to do so. And anyone that refuses to leave should be removed with all available force including lethal force.
Others have no right to take over your possessions. And yes, someone who takes control of your home and will not release it back to your possession deserves the death penalty of being shot and killed for insisting they can stay in property they do not own, or pay for in any way.
If you own property in NY and do not immediately flee a state that would protect squatters over home owners rights, I do not know what to say to you. You are living in a world of Russian roulette praying that next vacation someone doesn’t crack a window, enter your property, and claim rights to it.
Someone has to fight these laws all the way to the supreme court.
I would use “any force necessary” to remove you and go to court to fight any consequences of action. You take what is mine that is as sacred as my dwelling, then you will face the death penalty for your actions unless you relent. Full stop.
*
Someone needs to tell Jon Stewart, “You can never go home again”.


Tim Scott
I love your Random Thoughts columns but feel sorry for your wife having to deal with your mind 24,7. My feelings exactly on all the gluten nonsense. I never knew anyone peanut butter killed either. My mother put whatever she felt like feeding us on the table if I didn’t eat my four male siblings would eat or be hungry. Pretty soon you learned to eat anything. One more thing with Sinclair Broadcasting taking over the Sun you should apply for Dan Roderick’s job l can’t see him playing well with the new management team.