It is difficult to see things differently than most. To always be out-of-step with the crowd. My brain always goes to the bottom line, measures the shortest distance, looks for the smallest effort to create the greatest reward.
My brain doesn’t understand the meaningless gesture, virtue signaling, posing and posturing.
I don’t have a Facebook for that very reason, when I first saw the site I realized that it was all a window into a world that doesn’t exist. It’s all a happy face on shit. If people were really that happy and ecstatic on their vacation they wouldn’t have the time or inclination to stop and document it all for friends back home, they’d be living in the moment. That they have not only the time, but idea to stop, take a photo, and send to their Facebook says that they are happier showing you a false reality and creating a false narrative than actually being there on vacation. Otherwise they’d just enjoy the moment and not have to send you a photo lounging by the pool.
When I am having fun, I mean real fun, laughing, drinking, playing golf in the sunshine, the last thing I am thinking about is all those people who aren’t there with me. I’m in the moment. I don’t need to share the moment with you back in the office to improve my own standing in some schadenfreude flex.
I’ll admit that at the end of the day, after all is said and done, if I am reflecting on the photos I took on vacation, I may send one to a friend to share the beauty I have seen. As I am relaxing at night with a beer after a long day on vacation. In those reflective moments. But when taking the actual photo the idea of sharing it is far from my mind. I always try to stay focused in the moment.
I say all that to preface the sighting of pink ribbons all over the neighborhood. Even one at my own home, nailed to a tree. They have sprung up all over.
When I inquired about the nature of these ribbons I was told a neighbor had a child last week that came into being six weeks early and is struggling with issues. The ribbons are a way to express to the family that our thoughts and prayers are with them, that they are not alone in their worry and strife. We are all in support of them.
But I had to ask, did we pay for this ribbon so some cash could go to the family, help them a bit in their hour of need? No, no money was involved. Is there a plan to provide meals when they make it home and have all this extra care for the baby, are we baking a lasagna, or going to Carmine’s to get a “you pick two” prepared meals for them giving them one less thing to worry about? No, that isn’t in the works.
I asked is there a go-fund me? Somewhere to contribute to ease their burden if just a bit?
No.
Just ribbons. Big, bright pink ribbons. On a tree in front of every home.
While I am sure that will brighten the couple’s day, and every time one leaves the house and sees a sea of ribbons they will find some measure of comfort, I don’t think that is enough. It’s just virtue signaling.
Where is the meat of an effort, something tangible that produces real results?
Meals, cash, assistance, something that affects their lives for the positive when they bring the baby home and could use a hand?
I’m hoping to get some answer from someone involved. I don’t personally know the family but I sure take a “but for the grace of God there go I” attitude, and therefore feel some need to assist. Were I in such a position the help from neighbors would buoy my spirit and give me extra strength to cope. Reaching out to help a neighbor in need is essential to a better community, and a better country.
I’ll try to make or buy some meals, I’ll ask the wife about buying diapers, or doing something to ease a neighbor’s day as they face a new challenge. I pray their baby has a long and healthy and happy life. And that as time goes by their burden eases and goes away completely.
But I still don’t get the effort to nail ribbons everywhere. Creating positive emotions is nice, but when the baby cries stressed parents need more than thoughts and prayers.
That is where I apparently differ from everyone else. My wife discussing the ribbon effort with another neighbor, they were all smiles and positives. As if a good deed had been done. When I began to ask questions all it did was produce frowns. I was made to feel as if I was the one who “didn’t get it”. Listen, you can nail a ribbon to our tree, you can nail five more. Fantastic. I’m all in for emotional support.
But am I wrong to want to see some tangible real help provided?
Why am I always the asshole, ruining everyone’s good feelings for hanging a ribbon? And trust me, the looks I got for asking questions, well, my reputation becomes “asshole”. Cause I want to give the money spent on ribbons to the couple for diapers they could actually use.
I think part of what is wrong with us all today is we say sure, put a ribbon on our tree out front, then we all collectively act as if we have done our part.
When in fact, we’ve done nothing at all.
Assholes see the big picture. Don’t I know.
What youre saying has merit Michael. We are greatly a lip service society, where imagery and impression seems to be as important as effort and result. However, Facebook is NOT simply a venue for people to puff out their chests, show off, or preen about. A lot of positive things happen through the connections on that site. Granted, its VERY "LEFT", and one can get sent to the penalty box for breathing a peep of non "inclusion, diversity, coexistance" rhetoric, but for the most part its a positive tool/venue. Youre a good man, and your desire to help others without pinning a medal on your chest is admirable.